Sunday, 2 December 2007

Greener Grass

I feel like at the minute God is teaching me a little about waiting.
The bible is full of waiting. people in the desert for years accusing God of forgetting about them...yet he never did...not even to spite them for their lack of faith.
God remembered.

I have come to know a God who remembers, even when I forget.

Recently I have been stressed to the point of depletion. Work has literally over ruled a lot of the normality of my life and so I on many occasions have felt a bit lonely and disillusioned. God why am I here, what about your promises??
God has not forgotten...I have.

I have experienced love beyond comprehension at work over the past months. Some of the stories I have shared on my blog, many I have kept to myself. People have literally broken my heart this year...people who are dying in their bodies, people who are dying in their souls.
I am more aware than ever that each soul is precious and lovable...even the fact in my experience especially so.

Even amidst these little glimpses of beauty I have still been looking for the next big adventure, an escape, excitement, a journey....I have even thought about going away to work next year in a different country...why?? Because the grass is greener...right?

I guess I have just come to a conclusion that the colour of the grass is not the issue. It is more about appreciating the beauty of the different shades, even if it is the dried up areas that don't appeal to the senses. The beauty of God is in the dirt...almost sounds irreverent but its true.

The alcoholics that society shuns have spoken and reflected more of God to me this year than any preacher on a platform. They are honest. They screwed up but at least they can admit it rather than hiding their problems under a moral blanket.

Simple things like encountering people with real problems and getting to smile at them and make them laugh is what has kept me alive through a difficult time.

God dwells in unusual places. Not necessarily in the places with green grass.
God is in the desert. God is in the night. God is in the storm.

I am trying to stay put.. to appreciate the things I could so easily want to escape from...maybe it is here that I will find part of my destiny,

I believe that we will never loose our salvation once we have it..but we can loose our inheritance. Like the bowl of stew in the bible that stole a young mans inheritance...a need for a quick fix to satisfy, an escape to the greener grass could rob us of our purpose.
Maybe my encounter with a "no hoper" from where I am at is the green grass, maybe through them I will discover more of my destiny than if I was in Africa right now doing "mission". Again a case of christian labels and narrow mindedness.

Yet there are dreams in my heart for Africa and for other things that I want.

Wait. Embrace the now. Take God. The journey will unfold, the grass will be different in different places but always the right place at the right time.
Thank God for this reassurance. Thank God their are too many examples of this principle proving true for me to be wrong.

So I'm waiting but I am in no rush, not watching the clock. Why would I want the greener grass if its the season for other things...It is possible to wait and to be content at he same time.
I will never settle for a normal life...its just not me. But I am learning that the spectacular is not all flashing lights. Often its hard and sore but deep and saturated with love...worth the wait.


  1. Brilliant Joy! This really spoke to me thanks.

  2. thanks for the ministry and wisdom shared here.i seem to be in this place right now. i want to move on but God is teaching me to be patient. i want to serve and make a difference but God is serving me. i didnt quite know how to put it into words. i just knew i wanted to escape to run ,to achieve but feeling really frustrated. please pray that we will learn all He wants to teach us in this time.